Courage – Why Dads need it, and how to get it

Courage is a fascinating aspect of the human condition. Cultures and nations around the world honor displays of courage, and courageous people. Among my heroes in combat sports, courage is as necessary to them as all of their conditioning, sparring, and training. I’ve often felt like courage isn’t really considered when it comes to fatherhood. Maybe I’ve just missed too many articles or conversations about it.


Please Allow Me To Say

If you are a Dad reading this right now, thank you. Hopefully, you’re one of the guys who has being the best Dad you can be for your kids (no matter what) well-handled. You’re a brave man, and you deserve to be recognized for it. You have my utmost respect as a father. I know you don’t care about being recognized (because I don’t either), but I also know it feels good to know someone else “gets it.”

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling with fathering from afar,  or with a difficult ex, THANK YOU. It takes courage to seek out help. It takes a ton of courage to remain committed under those circumstances. You are a brave man, and have my respect as a Dad. I pledge to help you enhance your relationship with your kids in any way I can.


From Gut Check Gitness

A Father’s Courage

This is as thankless a job as there is. I’m not here to draw comparisons to motherhood because I have never been a mother. Instead, let me highlight what good Dads really do, and acknowledge the courage it takes to maintain that for years and years. Let’s acknowledge what men understand going in to fatherhood, so perhaps others might see the entire enterprise a little differently.

My daughters are 11 and 10. They each have a birthday coming this year, and I’ve been privileged to be their Dad for almost 8 years now. I know the day will come for each of them will venture out into the world. The time left to prepare them as best I can seems so much shorter now. I know whenever that happens, my excitement for them will be the only thing greater in me than the sound of my heart breaking.

We’re all aware of this about our kids, even if only on the subconscious level. We know we’re going to love them, clean them, teach them, feed them, clothe them, and kiss their ouchies. We will celebrate moving to solid foods, and moving out of diapers. We’ll gush about our kids’ first steps, first words, and if we’ll take a moment, we’ll understand and feel love in a way we never knew it existed.

Still, there are times in their raising when that day looks much more like a light at the end of the tunnel than it does something to lament. Adolescent defiance will rear its ugly head at the best of parents. Their vocabularies often develop well ahead of their understanding of the true power of words. My sons have said things to me through the anger of misunderstanding that cut like a dull, rusty knife.

The point is men (should) realize going in that kids have heavy demands on resources. The responsibility of our children will shift us toward safety and security over career and personal risks. Often you’ll hear men complain of hating their jobs, but needing them to provide for their families. I’ve certainly dealt with that sentiment. And when the kids don’t need you to provide for them anymore, they’ll be off building their own lives.


A Step Dad’s Courage


When you take on being Dad for another man’s children, you’ve done about the most courageous thing a man can do. I know. My heart doesn’t believe one damn word about my daughters not being “mine.” Step parents are in no-man’s land, legally speaking. You could be the sole provider and primary care giver to your step children, but you have no legal rights to them if their Mother wants to split. In the best case scenarios, courts take the involvement of step parents into account for things like contact and visitation even. But that’s best case. And only in states where step parents are given any legal consideration at all.

Think about that for a minute. A good step dad does all the things a good dad does. He gives heavily of his earnings, his time, his energy, his future even. In many states, all his wife has to do is say she wants a divorce. Once she does, his life with those kids is likely over. Being a step dad is a huge risk, no matter what kind of man you are.




“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

If your ex decides to be difficult instead of fostering positive relationships, you are in for a long, tough fight. That’s ok though. You’re a tough guy. Look at all you did and endured to “that” point. If you aren’t the Dad you want to be, or the Dad your kids deserve, you can become him right now. But you’ll need the healthiest dose of courage you can muster.

A few tips for you to use to start changing things right now:

1.) Get rid of the word “but.
— None of this “I love my kids so much, but…” There’s no place for that combination of words (or any like it) in a committed father’s vocabulary. Shorten that bit to “Because I love my kids,” and you’ll find the courage to persevere much more easily.

2.) Quit asking “What about me?”
— Let’s be honest. Divorce and split-ups are almost never a one-sided deal. For whatever reason, you’re in the spot you’re in. So are your kids. If the anchor of your commitment to your kids is what you see in return from them (or some matched effort from their mom), you’re in for a painful journey. Change that question to “What about my kids,” and you’ve got the right mindset to do your best by them. No matter what.

3.) Behave like the type of person you hope your child becomes
— No one wants their child to become dishonest, disloyal, manipulative, or irresponsible adults (I hope). And no child wants to hear one parent bash the other. Take the high road without stepping out. If your ex delivers upper cuts from your kids’ mouths, roll with that punch as gracefully as you can. Tell them and show them you love them, no matter what. Sometimes those efforts will seem like an immense, even unbearable burden. You can do it though. Even when you think you can’t.

Like Lao Tzu said thousands of years ago, loving someone else deeply gives us courage. Let your love for your kids be the wellspring from which your courage flows. Do that, and courage will become something you’re never without.

Thank you so much for reading! If you are a father, or know a father in dire straits dealing with a difficult ex, and would like guidance, encouragement and help mapping out a pathway to success, please contact me today. Please send your friend this link and encourage him to reach out. It may make all the difference in the relationship between a child and their Dad.




Thanks for installing the Bottom of every post plugin by Corey Salzano. Contact me if you need custom WordPress plugins or website design.

27 Replies to “Courage – Why Dads need it, and how to get it”

  1. yeezy boost 350May 10, 2019 at 4:22 PMReply

    My spouse and i felt excited Emmanuel could deal with his homework through your ideas he grabbed from your own weblog. It is now and again perplexing just to possibly be releasing helpful hints people today may have been making money from. And we know we now have you to thank for this. The type of illustrations you’ve made, the easy web site navigation, the relationships you aid to instill – it’s mostly remarkable, and it’s aiding our son and the family feel that that concept is amusing, and that’s truly fundamental. Thanks for the whole lot!

  2. adidas ultraMay 10, 2019 at 5:46 AMReply

    I needed to compose you a very little note in order to say thank you once again just for the fantastic ideas you have documented above. This is certainly seriously open-handed with people like you to make unreservedly all that many individuals could possibly have made available as an e-book to make some cash for themselves, and in particular considering the fact that you could possibly have done it if you desired. These inspiring ideas additionally worked as the good way to recognize that the rest have a similar keenness really like my own to learn a great deal more in regard to this issue. I know there are many more pleasurable instances up front for individuals who read your blog post.

  3. jordan 6May 4, 2019 at 5:24 PMReply

    Thanks so much for providing individuals with an exceptionally pleasant chance to check tips from this website. It is usually very excellent plus packed with amusement for me personally and my office acquaintances to search the blog at least thrice per week to see the new items you have got. Not to mention, I’m actually astounded with the amazing guidelines served by you. Certain 2 points in this post are easily the most beneficial we have all ever had.

  4. Jaime ClifftonMay 4, 2019 at 7:53 AMReply

    Long before the chronicle began we men have got unneurotic apart from the women and done things. We had time.

  5. Ian HinebaughMay 3, 2019 at 7:30 AMReply

    Hi” i think that you should add captcha to your blog,   

  6. yeezy boostMay 2, 2019 at 10:25 PMReply

    I really wanted to develop a small note so as to thank you for all the nice strategies you are writing here. My extended internet look up has now been rewarded with awesome insight to go over with my family. I would tell you that we site visitors actually are really blessed to live in a very good place with many outstanding professionals with beneficial techniques. I feel quite lucky to have encountered the webpage and look forward to some more amazing times reading here. Thank you again for all the details.

  7. Aldo BarcroftMay 2, 2019 at 8:14 AMReply

    What?s Going down i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It positively useful and it has aided me out loads. I’m hoping to give a contribution & aid different users like its helped me. Great job.

  8. air yeezyMay 1, 2019 at 1:59 PMReply

    Thanks so much for giving everyone an exceptionally spectacular opportunity to discover important secrets from this blog. It’s always very kind and jam-packed with amusement for me and my office colleagues to search your site particularly three times in one week to read through the latest things you will have. And lastly, we are at all times motivated with all the remarkable tips and hints you serve. Some 2 points in this post are in reality the simplest I’ve had.

  9. Mario NiverMay 1, 2019 at 7:14 AMReply

    Odd this publish is totaly unrelated to what I used to be looking google for, nevertheless it was once indexed at the first page. I assume your doing one thing right if Google likes you enough to place you at the first page of a non related search.

  10. nike cortezMay 1, 2019 at 5:47 AMReply

    I truly wanted to compose a note in order to express gratitude to you for these awesome tips and tricks you are showing on this website. My extended internet search has at the end of the day been recognized with pleasant points to go over with my family. I would claim that we readers are very endowed to live in a good website with so many perfect professionals with useful pointers. I feel somewhat lucky to have used your entire webpages and look forward to plenty of more exciting moments reading here. Thank you again for all the details.

  11. Tractor Workshop ManualsApril 30, 2019 at 9:27 PMReply

    It’s rare to locate an expert in whom you might have some faith. In the world at present, nobody absolutely cares about showing others exactly how in this subject matter. How happy I am to have now found a really wonderful website as this. It’s people like you exactly who make a true difference nowadays through the ideas they talk about.

  12. Edison DamesApril 30, 2019 at 2:58 PMReply

    Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any tips?

  13. EllieApril 29, 2019 at 10:04 PMReply

    I’m looking for out what the most prominent blogs are when it involves news and sights and also cell phone things.

  14. nike shoesApril 27, 2019 at 8:00 PMReply

    I must point out my respect for your generosity for those people who need help on this one issue. Your real commitment to passing the solution up and down had been exceptionally valuable and has continuously empowered women just like me to arrive at their dreams. This valuable facts can mean a great deal to me and somewhat more to my office colleagues. Warm regards; from everyone of us.

  15. RoselleApril 26, 2019 at 3:16 AMReply

    What is the easiest method to duplicate my WordPress blog sites to a brand-new holding business?

  16. BlairApril 25, 2019 at 2:42 PMReply

    It appears there are sites and also blogs devoted to lots of tasks, such tv, songs, lives of stars, etc. Yet I actually can not locate internet sites and also blog sites dedicated to analysis, sadly a second thought when it concerns activities … Anyone know some really prominent and also wonderful ones? Timeless and existing literary works are both trendy with me, because I check out both … Thanks a lot! =o-RRB-.

  17. nursing offerApril 23, 2019 at 7:02 AMReply

    My spouse and i felt quite cheerful Raymond could complete his web research using the precious recommendations he gained when using the weblog. It’s not at all simplistic just to always be giving out tactics which usually people might have been trying to sell. We really do know we need the website owner to thank because of that. All of the explanations you’ve made, the easy web site menu, the friendships you make it easier to create – it is all astonishing, and it’s really facilitating our son in addition to us do think the situation is entertaining, and that’s wonderfully fundamental. Thank you for everything!

  18. freight forwarder bangkokApril 22, 2019 at 8:21 PMReply

    freight forwarder salary – freight forwarder uk – freight forwarder tampa – freight forwarder hull – freight forwarder hazardous material

  19. MohammedApril 20, 2019 at 6:54 AMReply

    I have been a yahoo individuals for some years currently. I am only beginning to make use of the tools which they give, one of which being article. I have created a blog site and also wishes to know if my post are being seen by others. Otherwise then does anyone recognize how I obtain my articles check out.

  20. Agric salesApril 18, 2019 at 2:32 PMReply

    Some truly fantastic content on this internet site, regards for contribution. “The spirit is the true self.” by Marcus Tullius Cicero.

  21. TifanyApril 12, 2019 at 7:42 PMReply

    What are some truly good verse blog sites or web sites to publish journal entrances?

  22. IsobelApril 10, 2019 at 6:18 AMReply

    I need help and ideas to start a new website?

  23. John Deere Technical ManualsApril 9, 2019 at 4:17 AMReply

    There a few fascinating points on time in this posting but I don’t determine if I see they all center to heart. There exists some validity but Let me take hold opinion until I investigate it further. Very good article , thanks therefore we want more! Put into FeedBurner also

  24. Visit This LinkApril 8, 2019 at 2:25 PMReply

    Where is a good place start a website for business at a very low price?

  25. More hintsApril 2, 2019 at 7:41 PMReply

    I simply want to say I’m all new to blogs and definitely loved your web page. Probably I’m likely to bookmark your blog . You definitely have wonderful writings. With thanks for sharing with us your blog.

Leave a Comment